Author Topic: First time cat owner need help with kitten  (Read 4301 times)

Offline LeFlame

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Re: First time cat owner need help with kitten
« Reply #45 on: October 31, 2016, 07:18:53 PM »
Also just a little update on Lea I was at my desk and she's starting to play by the litter box so I looked at her and she looked back ran away the first time but then ignored me.so anyways a bit after that I saw her playing my my Tv so I went to play with her and she hisses like normal and hide under the tv so I got on the flier meowed at her a bit and then went to pet her and she freaked out and started hiding under the tv growl meowing and blinking at me slowly.im not really sure if this kitten can be tamed kinda starting to lose hope any tips would be great.
« Last Edit: October 31, 2016, 07:35:15 PM by LeFlame »

Offline Lola

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Re: First time cat owner need help with kitten
« Reply #46 on: October 31, 2016, 07:36:57 PM »
Well it's not that I'm not giving her the cans she's still eating the first 1

The same food is down for 24 hours?
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Offline LeFlame

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Re: First time cat owner need help with kitten
« Reply #47 on: October 31, 2016, 07:57:26 PM »
Yeah it's the same food also any other way to get this kitten to stop being scared it's been a week in not sure it's going to come around if it's still that scared

Offline DeeDee

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Re: First time cat owner need help with kitten
« Reply #48 on: October 31, 2016, 08:08:10 PM »
Did you buy all the same flavor, or different ones? Maybe make some notes about which flavors she seems to eat best, and then make sure you get those? Some animals are just finicky. Our corgi is the only corgi on earth that wasn't a pig until I changed his food completely. In his case, that was raw.

If she was a feral, she might prefer mice and bugs like crickets. Just throwing that out there as an idea about what might be happening.

Try seeing what happens if you scramble her an egg. You can't feed eggs alone, but it might up her food consumption.
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Offline LeFlame

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Re: First time cat owner need help with kitten
« Reply #49 on: October 31, 2016, 08:30:32 PM »
I'm not a 100% sure she was feral but I'm guessing the signs are hissing and extreme fear of humans.also for food she's eating chicken flavor turkey flavor and tuna flavor I'm not sure which one Lea likes best but I'm not really concerned on the food more on her behavior.Im not sure if it's normal but after a week I though we made some real progress with her but she's still hissing and growling and hiding.il give her until December if by then if she's still acting up I'm just going to take her back to the shelter.

Offline Middle Child

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Re: First time cat owner need help with kitten
« Reply #50 on: October 31, 2016, 08:37:52 PM »
LeFlame, I mean this is the nicest way possible.  But if you are going to give her up, the time to do it is now.  Bring her back now, so they can re-evaluate her and find her a more appropriate home, or possibly a foster to socialize her, while she is still little and cute and tamable.

Take some time to meet the other cats there. Maybe find an older cat, still young, but one who is properly socialized and used to living with people.  One who can be let to roam around the whole house, and curl up in a window or on a lap,  like a happy cat should and will.

Lea needs very special skilled handling.  She needs to be placed with someone who is very experienced not only with cats in general, but with cats like Lea.

Please do think about what I am saying.  I am not accusing you or blaming you.  You have not done anything wrong, you have really taken the best care you could of her, and have worked hard at following our suggestions. I think you have done well, but she is beyond your current knowledge and skill.

The shelter should have done a better job matching you with the right kitty.

Lea needs someone with much more experience and skill with socializing than you have at this time in your life.

After bringing Lea back, you might decide to take a break and volunteer at the shelter for a while, getting to know the other cats, and getting to know cats, in general.

Offline LeFlame

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Re: First time cat owner need help with kitten
« Reply #51 on: October 31, 2016, 08:48:52 PM »
First of all I'm not giving up on Lea and I'm sure she will come around eventually.Im just going to give her more space the whole time I've had her I've been looking for her and trying to get her attention it's clear she wants to be alone until she is ready.the reason I don't have her runing  throughout my house is not because I can't or don't want to it is because I had been recommended to keep them to 1 room only until they are use to you.so I'm just going to give her a month I'm by December She will be a cute and cuddly cat if not if she's made any progress il keep at it.

Offline LeFlame

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Re: First time cat owner need help with kitten
« Reply #52 on: October 31, 2016, 08:53:55 PM »
Also you don't need to know everything about cats to have a cat.think about when you all got your first cat you probably didn't know much or as much as you know now.theres a first time for everything and Lea is going to be my first cat even if it takes months for her to come around.Also this is not the first pet I've had I've had many dogs as pets and have 1 right now in the yard I know that pets take a while to come around and get use to you I just didn't expect Lea to take this long.From most people I know they've told me a kitten come around in a few days so I expected that from Lea.

Offline Middle Child

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Re: First time cat owner need help with kitten
« Reply #53 on: October 31, 2016, 08:57:27 PM »
Yes, I think we mentioned in the beginning that you can't force yourself on her, you have to let her come to you, I thought you were doing that already?

And yes. keeping her to one room until she adjusts is the right thing to do also. 

Like I said I am not blaming you for anything..

I think it is very responsible of you to want to give her more time but please do consider what is best for her too.

A week is a very short time, and a month is also not very much time when you are dealing with a kitten like Lea. A kitten like her can take many months to adjust.  And after another month, giving her up, if she hasn't adjusted as quickly as you hoped,  will be very traumatic for her.  So if you are going to do it, now is the right time to do it, for HER.

That's what I meant..

But if you are going to keep on, of course we are going to keep trying to help you both! :)

Offline Middle Child

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Re: First time cat owner need help with kitten
« Reply #54 on: October 31, 2016, 09:07:14 PM »
Also you don't need to know everything about cats to have a cat.think about when you all got your first cat you probably didn't know much or as much as you know now.theres a first time for everything and Lea is going to be my first cat even if it takes months for her to come around.Also this is not the first pet I've had I've had many dogs as pets and have 1 right now in the yard I know that pets take a while to come around and get use to you I just didn't expect Lea to take this long.From most people I know they've told me a kitten come around in a few days so I expected that from Lea.

There's no point in making comparisons to other kittens or cats.  Lea is a special case, and that's what you are dealing with.

I never said you need to know everything.  I said that Lea is not socialized and an un-socialized kitten can take skill and experience to bring around. Being impatient and expecting her to become a cuddly kitten in a week, just because someone told you that's what kittens do, is not realistic.

The fact is, Lea may never be a cuddly kitten.  Some cats aren't. It's just their personalities to not be. That's why, if someone wants certain characteristics, it is better to go for an older, already socialized, kitten or young cat.

So you have to make up your mind to accept her, no matter what she turns out to be like.

Raising a kitten like Lea offers many wonderful rewards, but those rewards are a long time coming. 

It's hugely gratifying and humbling when a scared innocent soul begins to trust you, there is nothing like it, but it has to be done on her schedule, not yours.  It may take many months, it may not.  But putting a time stamp on it "one more month" is not a useful way to think.  You need to be patient and go at her speed, and forget about your own expectations.  This is all about Lea, not you.

That is what I mean about being experienced and skilled with working with special needs kittens like Lea.  it's something you learn with experience.  How to go very very slowly.

I am not saying you can't do it. I don't know you.  But I do know about socializing kittens like Lea, and I know you have to lower your expectations of what will happen with her and when.

Offline Middle Child

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Re: First time cat owner need help with kitten
« Reply #55 on: October 31, 2016, 09:21:17 PM »
It's long past my bedtime but I just want to say one more thing.  I don't know if you've been browsing the forum much but if you have you've seen a lot of posts from me about my Mazy cat.  She's over 12 years old now but she was an un-socialized wild thing when I brought her home from the shelter when she was 6 months old. 

It took three years for me to be even able to pet her.  She sent me to the ER twice with bad bites. The other bites weren't bad enough to need treatment.  She's a loving cat now, but still has boundaries I have to respect.

Queen Eva is just past 6.  She was only 8 weeks old when I rescued her and had been abused.  She did not allow any handling at all for a very long time.  She still screams bloody murder when I have to hold her for something, like nail trims for instance.

Every cat is different, but I wanted you to know that I do know what I am talking about.

I do hope you and Lea can make it work together. And I'll do all I can, we all will, to help you.  But just, please, don't put time limitation on her.  Either commit to her now, or give her up, now, so she has a better chance to find the right home, if yours isn't it.

Offline Pookie

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Re: First time cat owner need help with kitten
« Reply #56 on: October 31, 2016, 09:28:14 PM »
Also just a little update on Lea I was at my desk and she's starting to play by the litter box so I looked at her and she looked back ran away the first time but then ignored me.so anyways a bit after that I saw her playing my my Tv so I went to play with her and she hisses like normal and hide under the tv so I got on the flier meowed at her a bit and then went to pet her and she freaked out and started hiding under the tv growl meowing
 
The fact that she "freaked" means she needs you so slow down and keep your distance.  It was way too soon to try to pet her.

Middle Child gave you some very good advice.  My sister adopted some kittens that were born just outside her home.  They have lived with her for several years now, and they tolerate some petting, one more than the other, but are not as cuddly as other cats she's lived with.  There is one cat that she adopted who was also born outside, I think it was a few months old already when she got it, that still won't let allow petting.

All cats are different, and you can't expect Lea to fit what other people say.  She is unique, and Lea has to be Lea.  That may mean she becomes a cuddle-bug, but you also have to prepare yourself for the possibility that she may never be a cuddle bug.

MC is right.  You have to do what is best for Lea.  That's what good pet parents do.  Giving her a time limit isn't fair to her.  So seriously think about whether you are prepared to accept that she may never be as cuddly as you would like, or as quickly as you would like.  If you're willing to give her all the time in the world, and accept her and love her even if she never lets you pet her, then keep her.  If not, then I would agree with MC about returning her.  I know that's incredibly hard.  I speak from experience.  I had to surrender a kitty of my own, who had lived with me for almost 7 years.  I loved her dearly, and it broke my heart.  But I did it because I knew I couldn't give her the care she needed, and that it was best for her to be with someone who could give her that care.

Don't make any rash decisions, just please think long and hard about your expectations for Lea, and what is truly best for her.

Quote
  But just, please, don't put time limitation on her.  Either commit to her now, or give her up, now, so she has a better chance to find the right home, if yours isn't it. 

Well said.
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Offline LeFlame

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Re: First time cat owner need help with kitten
« Reply #57 on: November 01, 2016, 05:59:06 AM »
I never said I'm only giving her a month I'm saying if in a month there is no progress which I'm sure there will be I'm going to have to take her back.i don't really care if she's cuddly or if she's not I just want to have a cat I don't need my cat to be all loving.

Offline Middle Child

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Re: First time cat owner need help with kitten
« Reply #58 on: November 01, 2016, 06:45:12 AM »
I'm sure you must be growing attached to Lea already.

 Don't be surprised if her first breakthrough is joining you on your bed after you fall asleep!  Cats love a warm spot, and the warmest place in your room is going to be you, sleeping in the bed.

If this happens it is very important that you don't react in a physical way!

 Resist the urge to reach for her, if you wake and find her curled up with you in your bed.  Talk softly to her, and if she jumps down as soon as she sees you wake up, let her.

The key is to show her she can trust you.  Show her you aren't going to grab at her or touch her, until she is ready.  Just keep talking to her, in a soft voice, and using her name a lot.

Once she realizes you aren't going to go past her boundaries, she will begin to trust you. I can't say how long it will take. Probably more than a month.

But we're here to support and cheer you both on!

Offline Pookie

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Re: First time cat owner need help with kitten
« Reply #59 on: November 01, 2016, 07:04:16 AM »
Don't be surprised if her first breakthrough is joining you on your bed after you fall asleep!  Cats love a warm spot, and the warmest place in your room is going to be you, sleeping in the bed.

If this happens it is very important that you don't react in a physical way!

 Resist the urge to reach for her, if you wake and find her curled up with you in your bed.  Talk softly to her, and if she jumps down as soon as she sees you wake up, let her.

The key is to show her she can trust you.  Show her you aren't going to grab at her or touch her, until she is ready.  Just keep talking to her, in a soft voice, and using her name a lot.

Once she realizes you aren't going to go past her boundaries, she will begin to trust you. I can't say how long it will take. Probably more than a month.

But we're here to support and cheer you both on!

Excellent advice.   thumbsup1 thumbsup1 DrLisaPiersonWorthy DrLisaPiersonWorthy

1.  Go SLOW
2.  Let her come to you and make the first move.  ALWAYS.
3.  Don't push her.  Again, as MC said, don't go past her boundaries.  Doing so will only make you go back in steps.
4.  Patience, patience, patience, patience, patience.  And then more patience.
2-4-6-8  Please don't over-vaccinate!
"Pass on what you have learned."  -- Yoda, Star Wars:  Return of the Jedi

Tags: Kitten Help 
 

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