Author Topic: An Animal Control Officer's POV  (Read 2120 times)

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Offline CarnivorousCritter

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An Animal Control Officer's POV
« on: November 19, 2011, 05:16:15 PM »
This message will never get old. (Alert: Some strong language)  See this is being revived on the Web as something "newer", so here's the original post:

best of craigslist > SF bay area > Rant: Animal Control
Originally Posted: Sun, 10 Dec 17:04 PST

Rant: Animal Control

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Date: 2006-12-10, 5:04PM PST

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Well, this one has been several years in the making.

Hello kids. I'm your friendly neighborhood Animal Control Officer, and I'd like to officially tell you all to bite my ass. Before I ride off into the sunset, however - here are some parting words...

1) To all the jackasses who ask me if I don't have something better to do than giving them a ticket for no license/dog off leash/being a douchebag. The answer is no. No, I have nothing better than to take my precious time and taxpayer dollars to write you a COMPLETELY LAME ticket for not doing what was your responsibility to do in the first place. I love nothing more than babysitting grown adults who seem incapable of wiping their own ass without law enforcement present. Thanks, dirtbags.

2) To all the jackasses who ask me why I'm not rounding up all the killer pitbulls. Where...WHERE!? Where are all the killer pitbulls that are roaming the streets and attacking your women and children. My god, the city should just issue you all SHOTGUNS to fend off these land sharks. In other news, THERE IS NO VICIOUS PITBULL EPIDEMIC. Let's all hold hands and say it together folks, the only epidemic is misinformation, ignorance and animal neglect. Thanks, please drive through to the second window and receive a punch in the face.

3) To all the jackasses who refuse to spay/neuter, or who think they're "breeders" because they put fido and fifi together and produced a litter of mongrels who will all likely end up in a barrel behind the shelter by the time they reach sexual maturity: Die. Diediediediedie. I wish to god that there was a mandatory spay/neuter law and that the penalty for breaking it was to be forced to spend a day working in the euthanasia room. Seriously. It's simple ******* math, people. Every dog or cat you carelessly add into this world takes away a home for a dog or cat that is already here. So breeding means killing...so have a good day, executioners! I hope the 50 bucks you made off that puppy sure feels good. ..

...In conclusion. I quit! Actually, you dipshits broke me a while back and it's been months of therapy before I could write this little missive. I still shudder when I see a pair of testicles on a dog though, so watch out.

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Offline Middle Child

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Re: An Animal Control Officer's POV
« Reply #1 on: November 20, 2011, 07:53:31 AM »
Yep.  Yep.  Especially this line:

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I still shudder when I see a pair of testicles on a dog though, so watch out.

So do I.  And if I am close enough I say "Gee, hope he's going in for his neuter soon".

Offline The Kittens

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Re: An Animal Control Officer's POV
« Reply #2 on: November 20, 2011, 08:26:23 AM »
Some doggie parents may not be aware, that doggies that are not neutered, are prone to prostate issues, like around 80%.  I already knew this. Many years ago, when my brother was away, was taking care of his dog, beautiful Huskey, and he was not acting right, called my brother and told him I was taking him in.  He had the beginning of prostate issues, the vet recommended he be neutered.  Called my brother back, told him, why he needed to be neutered and what the vet said about prostate in an un neutered dog.  My brother didn't know this and OK'd it, because he knows, how I am about animal health/care, and that I know what I am talking about, and he trusted me. The dog lived a very long life.   :-* cat4 TexasFlag bumpgif

The benefits of neutering a dog.   

http://www.peteducation.com/article.cfm?c=2+2112&aid=911

Just as with kitties, doggies too are prone to mammary issues, that are not spayed.

The benefits of spaying a dog.

http://www.peteducation.com/article.cfm?c=2+2112&aid=926

Offline AK49BWL

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Re: An Animal Control Officer's POV
« Reply #3 on: November 20, 2011, 10:52:04 AM »
Couldn't agree more with everything... I volunteer in my off-time at my local shelter, and it's definitely not easy to find out your latest favorite didn't get adopted soon enough and had to be put down... Only for the cage to be reloaded with another stray, or worse.. One that was brought in due to "allergies" after 12 years of life in that home...  bangshead I hate people.



Btw your tag needs fixing: naimal control..
Brandon

Offline The Kittens

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Re: An Animal Control Officer's POV
« Reply #4 on: November 20, 2011, 01:53:25 PM »
One of my cat show friends, in VT, volunteers at an animal shelter, she is from the same town, that was totally; shut off.  She and her husband, went into a house, that was on the verge, of falling in the river, in the dark, to rescue 2 kitties.  Nobody else would go in, it was way beyond to dangerous, but she did. She said she just could not stand by, and watch those 2 kitties die.   :-*

Offline Lola

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Re: An Animal Control Officer's POV
« Reply #5 on: November 20, 2011, 02:22:14 PM »
The rest...

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4) There is no ***damn thing as "No Kill". I hate to burst your collective bubble, but when you call and ask if our shelter is "no kill", don't treat me like a kitten murderer when I tell you NO. There are simply not enough resources or homes available to find every pet a home and that is NOT MY FAULT. Quite simply, there is no "dog whisperer" in the world who can save your eight year old Rottweiler that spent his entire life chained to a tree in your backyard. Sorry, buster - but this one's on you. And the places that claim to be "No Kill"? They simply send the unplaceable pets across the street to Animal Control who do the killing for them. WAKE. UP. Until mandatory spay/neuter becomes law, killing is going to happen.

5)You know what's fun? Being told that I must "really hate dogs" because I'm an Animal Control Officer. Yessir. I put up with ******* like you, the abysmally low pay, and this fabulously flattering uniform just so I can take all my bitterness out on your dog. That's also why I foster animals, paying for their care out of my own pocket and using up my precious little free time to do it. Yeah, that's it. Now how's about you shut your mouth and put a leash on your dog you asshole, so I don't have to peel him off the street later.

6) LEASHES, PEOPLE. They're not just for the "bad dogs". Quite frankly, dogs are carnivores - predators, if you will. When they see something furry and running fast, like a squirrel or a cat - they tend to chase after it. Next thing you know, I'm scooping up Scooby with a plastic bag...not fun. Or, how about the person who does not in fact, like dogs and has to be accosted by your poochie when they walk down the street? Or, what about the dog aggressive dog being walked safely and in control on a leash until your unleashed dog comes up and just wants to say "hi"? Dog fights are pretty ugly, and NO ONE seems to anticipate them until it's too late. So don't piss and moan when I give you a verbal warning for having your dog off leash...because that leads me to:

7) Your mouth will write you a ticket. Oh yeah, no kidding. I hate writing tickets. They're a pain in the ass. I have to deal with your melt down, then I have to go back to the office and write a report about it. Next, I have to show up in court because you want to contest the ticket, even though 60% of the time YOU NEVER SHOW UP YOU CHICKENSHIT BASTARDS. So, the deal is this - if you're nice and not eggregiously breaking the law, I'm probably just going to warn you and then go about my day. As soon as you break out the lip however, I'm breaking out the ticket book. Press hard, there's four copies.

In conclusion. I quit! Actually, you dipshits broke me a while back and it's been months of therapy before I could write this little missive. I still shudder when I see a pair of testicles on a dog though, so watch out.
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