The way we train show kittens, is first you have to get a spray water bottle. Then you have to decide on the word or words you want to use, for each situation, and you have to be consistant each time, with the word or words, you cannot vary at all, it just confuses them.
Whatever they are doing, that they are not supposed to be doing, and for example, the scratching,
I say "no scratching, that is baddy boy stuff", in a stern and elevated tone, but not yelling, they they get squirted with the water bottle. It doesn't take long, for it to sink in, altho, it does not happen overnight, and you have to be consistant and diligent about it.
When they started climbing the screen door, I said "no climbing screens, that is baddy boy stuff" and I squirted.
After a few days, all I had to say, was the words, they got down, they no longer climb the screen.
Mine learned the words "baddy boy stuff" when they were little tykes, and knows, it ain't good, and a squirt will follow. So you have to adjust the words, to the situation. Mine also learned what "no" means. So I just expanded, on words, they already knew, and fit the words, to the situation.
When they started to bite, I said "no biting, that is baddy boy stuff".
When they started to chew on plastic, I said "no chewing on plastic, that is baddy boy stuff"
Get the picture? For Amber, you would say baddy girl stuff.
The kittens are also taught to use a scratching post, as in the shows, they have to go up the pole. This also takes time, and it does not happen overnight, you just have to be patient and consistant.
I got the big scratching post, it prob stands 4 feet, don't bother with the little ones, they just knock them down.
Rub cat nip up and down the post, you want the one with the sisel rope, don't get the rug covered one, it just confuses them, to similiar to furniture. Then take her paws, and simulate, scratching, be gentle. Then take a treaty, and make her follow it up the scratching post, when she stretches up, give her the treat, and only then.
Praise her and praise her, when she streches up and scratches the post. Ours then graduate, to we only have to tap the scratching post, with a wand toy, and up they go. By the time they hit the show ring, at 4 months old, the judge sets them on the table, up the pole they go. Thats how we train show kittens.
Hope this helps, others will have good ideas too. But, if all else fails, and rather than risking have to give her up, then declaw her. Go to a cat show in your area, and watch the classes, watch the kitties go up the pole, then talk to the people or even, ask the judge, after the class is over. They are very willing to help. If you want to PM me what city you are in, will tell you when the next show in your area is.