Author Topic: What is with the nastiness...  (Read 6903 times)

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Offline Amber

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What is with the nastiness...
« on: February 15, 2013, 05:14:18 AM »
that I frequently see lurking around raw feeding groups or doing searches on various raw-feeding-related topics? I have never seen it here, but it seems that in a lot of places, people are extreme to a ridiculous degree. Generalized examples (not word for word, don't want to get sued or whatever) -

You don't want to feed whole bones? You grind the food? Grow up and get over it! You shouldn't HAVE dogs if you don't feed them prey model.

You don't add supplements? You are KILLING your cat.

OMG you add the occassional vegetable? What is WRONG with you! UR so stupid!

Why do you even have pets if you can't feed them properly? (referring to a 100% raw diet)

Prey model feeders/whole prey feeders are crazy.

BARF feeders are stupid. Even some vegetables are bad for dogs/cats, those supplements are NOT needed, and they grind the food because they are too dumb to understand that cat and dogs have TEETH!

You COOK the food? You are destroying all the nutrients. You may as well feed them Ol' Roy and be done with it. Idiot.


I truly don't understand the animosity. Any pet owner that steps away from commercial food has to deal with vets and other owners who think we are nutjobs who are killing our pets. We are labeled irresponsible, unintelligent, neanderthals, and I have even seen us referred to as a cult. No one feeding method works for every person or every companion animal. The my-way-or-the-highway approach is ridiculous and unhelpful. It drives away people who are already nervous about the choice they have made and leaves a bad taste in peoples mouths about non-commercial food if they are just looking into it. I am sure many go it alone and a great deal more abandon the idea all together.

If someone wants to cook the food and is willing to properly supplement, fine. It is a huge step above commercial food, they know what goes in it, and it is usually 100% human grade FOOD.

Some people are uncomfortable with whole bones for whatever reason. Fine. As long as they grind the bones to include them or give an appropriate calcium supplement, the cat or dog will be healthy. Boneless, large, meaty chunks help dental health too.

Some people DO feed whole bones. Fine. Nobody is going to come to your house and shove chicken necks down your dog's/cat's throat. It may not work for you, or your pet, but apparently it works fine for theirs.

Some people add supplements, for whatever reason. As long as the supplements are in appropriate levels, they aren't hurting anything and can give peace of mind, whether or not you think they are truly needed.

Some people don't give supplements or don't give many. Fine. As long as the cat/dog is doing well, fed variety, and not showing any signs of deficiency, whats the problem?

Some people add vegetables. Whether you think they are needed or not, as long as they don't constitute a huge part of the diet, and as long as they are safe to feed (not cherry tomatoes, onions, etc), if the cat/dog does not show any intolerance to them, fine.

Some people don't have the confidence or finances or both to feed all raw/home-cooked food all of the time. Fine. Point them to be best commercial food in their budget and give advice on the raw/home-cooked part of what they feed. We all started somewhere. Few if any of us have always fed home-prepared diets of any sort. Many will never give 100% home prepared. Some is better than none, and people who actually take the time to look into the topic of petfood instead of grabbing a bag of whatever is on sale of the shelf CARE about their pets, no matter what their decisions, and are generally doing the best they can on an emotional or financial level.

The use of "you" in this post is a general term and absolutey incorrect english writing, its horrible and does not refer in whole or in part, to any one individual.

On a semi-related note, I love this forum full of non-judgemental, reasonable people who, regardless of opinion, are invariable polite and helpful, and rarely if ever critical. Some of these other places really need to take a lesson from Parenting-Furkids.

Offline Pookie

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Re: What is with the nastiness...
« Reply #1 on: February 15, 2013, 07:04:57 AM »
Thankfully, my only experience with raw forums has been on Catster, here and a Yahoo group that has very few posts (interestingly, it was formed because they didn't want to be on the other groups due to nastiness).  With folks like BK on Catster and here, I didn't see the need to go anywhere else.   :)

On a semi-related note, I love this forum full of non-judgemental, reasonable people who, regardless of opinion, are invariable polite and helpful, and rarely if ever critical. Some of these other places really need to take a lesson from Parenting-Furkids.

 agreegif   :-* HeadButt
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Offline Pookie

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Re: What is with the nastiness...
« Reply #2 on: February 15, 2013, 12:24:08 PM »
By the way, I'm sorry you've run into so many places with cranky people.   :(  grouphug grouphug grouphug
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Offline CarnivorousCritter

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Re: What is with the nastiness...
« Reply #3 on: February 15, 2013, 03:10:47 PM »
 grouphug Amber. 

Egos may be taking over. 

Most likely, that attitude is the reason such terms as  "food snobs"; "gourmet"; "fancy"; "militant"  ... -   as opposed to "species-appropriate"  - are thrown around by the mainstream.   :(
 




Offline DeeDee

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Re: What is with the nastiness...
« Reply #4 on: February 15, 2013, 06:26:05 PM »
I feed raw...I give my dogs fruit & vegetables too--whatever F&V I've bought for us for that week.

However, there's no way on earth I'm throwing down a huge chunk of meat on bone and having them rub that mess all over my house--or risk making myself sick by coming into contact with possible germs & bacteria from doing so since I have a chronic illness and my immune system is compromised. I already have to make sure I wash their faces well after they eat. I'm not going to have to go around and mop the whole place after every meal as well.

Those people don't have to like the way I feed my dogs. I don't care what they do with their dogs. My dogs' blood tests are always great and, to me, that's the proof that what I'm doing isn't wrong. Their vets think my dogs look amazing & they're extremely happy with their weights.

If I had outdoor dogs, I'd probably just throw a shank down for them every day; however I have indoor dogs, and I'll never have dogs that live outdoors away from me.

I've had some prey-model people tell me that I shouldn't have dogs at all considering the fact that I'm sick and can't take care of them "properly" without doing it THEIR way--and having any medical condition like mine is too much of a risk of having animals around anyway.

My answer to them: I SHOULD have dogs because there's no way on earth anyone else can EVER love these 2 dogs as much as I do. And when it comes down to it all, my love will do more to make their lives exceptional than anything else on earth.
"In order to really enjoy a dog, one doesn't merely try to train him to be semihuman. The point of it is to open oneself to the possibility of becoming partly a dog." Edward Hoagland
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Offline Lola

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Re: What is with the nastiness...
« Reply #5 on: February 16, 2013, 02:14:15 AM »
Amber... I can soooo relate.  The more I read about raw, the more my head spins.  I just stay "stuck" ... commercial raw, canned, and hearts & gizzards get thrown into the mix.  That is the best that I can do, at this point... as lame as that may sound.  

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Offline Amber

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Re: What is with the nastiness...
« Reply #6 on: February 16, 2013, 04:26:20 AM »
It isn't lame.

And to be clear, I do have my own opinions on what is "best" but I understand that best for one isn't best for another, and my opinon shifts based on works best for my Amber. I just don't understand the "if you don't do it my way you are an idiot/horrible pet parent" attitude.

Offline Middle Child

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Re: What is with the nastiness...
« Reply #7 on: February 16, 2013, 06:48:10 AM »
Amber... I can soooo relate.  The more I read about raw, the more my head spins.  I just stay "stuck" ... commercial raw, canned, and hearts & gizzards get thrown into the mix.  That is the best that I can do, at this point... as lame as that may sound.  



That isn't lame at all nor does it even sound lame.  It sounds wonderful!  Every little bit of raw benefits them. I will always feed some canned. Not just because of worrying about balance, though that is part of it. But because what if one of them should have to be hospitalized?  Or even if I should?  This way, if they have to eat an all canned diet for a few days, it won't be such a shock to them.

Offline Pookie

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Re: What is with the nastiness...
« Reply #8 on: February 16, 2013, 11:53:06 AM »
My answer to them: I SHOULD have dogs because there's no way on earth anyone else can EVER love these 2 dogs as much as I do. And when it comes down to it all, my love will do more to make their lives exceptional than anything else on earth.

 clapping1 clapping1 clapping1 clapping1 clapping1  Very well said!

Amber... I can soooo relate.  The more I read about raw, the more my head spins.  I just stay "stuck" ... commercial raw, canned, and hearts & gizzards get thrown into the mix.  That is the best that I can do, at this point... as lame as that may sound. 

I'm right there with you, Lola!  I don't think it's lame.  And to Amber's point, each of us has to go with what works best for our pets and our individual situations.  It's a shame there are folks out there who don't see things that way, but it is what it is.

grouphug to all!   :-* HeadButt
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Offline Lola

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Re: What is with the nastiness...
« Reply #9 on: February 17, 2013, 03:32:40 AM »
It isn't lame.

And to be clear, I do have my own opinions on what is "best" but I understand that best for one isn't best for another, and my opinon shifts based on works best for my Amber. I just don't understand the "if you don't do it my way you are an idiot/horrible pet parent" attitude.

It is the "you are an idiot" type of comments that make me fear raw feeding.  Whose advice do I listen to?  The PFI is bad enough...I don't want to be worse than them! 
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Offline Lola

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Re: What is with the nastiness...
« Reply #10 on: February 17, 2013, 03:35:27 AM »
That isn't lame at all nor does it even sound lame.  It sounds wonderful!  Every little bit of raw benefits them. I will always feed some canned. Not just because of worrying about balance, though that is part of it. But because what if one of them should have to be hospitalized?  Or even if I should?  This way, if they have to eat an all canned diet for a few days, it won't be such a shock to them.

Worrying about balance would be a HUGE concern of mine also.  
GOOOOD point about hospitalization!  Wow...never thought of that!  If I don't think of things to worry about, on my own...you certainly help me out!   Bumpurr1
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Offline Lola

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Re: What is with the nastiness...
« Reply #11 on: February 17, 2013, 03:39:53 AM »
clapping1 clapping1 clapping1 clapping1 clapping1  Very well said!

I'm right there with you, Lola!  I don't think it's lame.  And to Amber's point, each of us has to go with what works best for our pets and our individual situations.  It's a shame there are folks out there who don't see things that way, but it is what it is.

grouphug to all!   :-* HeadButt

As far as what works for us and our pets... OT-ish but that is kind of why I try NOT to cringe when a person tells me that they are feeding x brand of wet... x brand being one that I wouldn't consider!  I have learned to take a deep breath and be joyful that the person is at least feeding wet.  Baby steps. 

Also... thanks all for the support.  You ALL are truly THE BEST!
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Offline Middle Child

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Re: What is with the nastiness...
« Reply #12 on: February 17, 2013, 06:54:10 AM »
Worrying about balance would be a HUGE concern of mine also. 
GOOOOD point about hospitalization!  Wow...never thought of that!  If I don't think of things to worry about, on my own...you certainly help me out!   Bumpurr1


HAHAHAHAHA!! Yep, I am world class!!!



As far as what works for us and our pets... OT-ish but that is kind of why I try NOT to cringe when a person tells me that they are feeding x brand of wet... x brand being one that I wouldn't consider!  I have learned to take a deep breath and be joyful that the person is at least feeding wet.  Baby steps. 

Also... thanks all for the support.  You ALL are truly THE BEST!

Oh I sooo know what you mean. I have to try not to cringe over dry either.  I saw a woman walking out of Walmart yesterday with a 50 pound bag of meow mix. I started to shudder and then had to chant to myself, at least her cats are fed.  Maybe she's feeding strays and that's all she can afford, and so on.

Offline Lola

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Re: What is with the nastiness...
« Reply #13 on: February 17, 2013, 05:46:36 PM »
I usually draw the line at dry.  That is a major issue.  IMHO  I have a sister that feeds strays dry.  I would THINK if she wasn't feeding them dry... they would get better food fending for themselves.
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Offline Middle Child

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Re: What is with the nastiness...
« Reply #14 on: February 17, 2013, 08:09:00 PM »
I know I know.  But gah, I have to let these things go somehow.  I spend enough time worrying as it is. My anxiety is through the roof and here I am worrying about some stranger buying a 50 pound bag of meow mix. I know a couple of people who think Iams kibble is the best thing ever. I know they read my threads on raw feeding, and when I advise other people who actually want to know, what cats should eat. But they apparently don't believe a word I say. Their cats are "fine".  Indeed and in one house the cats pee all over the house, in spite of multiple, clean, litter boxes (there are more than 5 cats), and one cat licks herself bald, and another regurgitates all the time but that is just normal for cats after all. The other home...both cats are morbidly obese, one licks herself bald from "stress" and is often "depressed".  But never mind all that..the cats are "fine" on this "premium dry food, after all the first ingredient is chicken" they don't need canned food and it will rot their teeth.  bangshead I don't say anything to them directly it would not make any difference and only foster bad feelings. These are people I have 'known' for 20 years.  I just continue to post MY experiences with diet, answer other people's questions who really want to learn,  and share  what I have learned and am still learning. I've reached a couple of people anyway.

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