Author Topic: 3 years today  (Read 2115 times)

finnlacey

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3 years today
« on: July 10, 2011, 10:13:23 AM »
Well, it's 3 years today my little girl went to the bridge. 3 years ago today my life changed forever and I had no idea at the time how much. 3 years ago today I lost my daughter, my soul mate, my sunshine. Why she had to die in order for me to do all of this I don't know. I had tried making a bargain with god that if she could live, I'd spend the rest of my life helping other kitties with these diseases. Still, he took her away. I was very, very angry. Sometimes I still am. Why couldn't she have been the one to live? Why did she have to suffer so much and leave me the traumatic way she did? She was the sweetest baby that ever lived.

It's okay, I'm not going to spend the day crying and sad. I've done enough of that these last 3 years. Losing 2 family members within 2 days at the end of June exhausted me to no end. I say this all now, but it's early. I may change my mind later and the tears might just flow without my control. Who knows. But however I feel without her it doesn't change anything. She's really gone and she's really not coming back.

It's getting harder after 3 years to remember all those little details. I have to really think hard, although I wrote them all down and they are in the back of my memory tucked away for safe keeping. It's better this way. To bring them all up to the surface again would cause my soul to ache. But yes, I will spend the day remembering the good times. The day she told me "I'm yours now and there's nothing you can do about it. So just give in and love me, MOL". That was the day I KNEW I had received an angel in my life. She was with me for only 5 years. Way too short a time. Now she's an angel again and guides me to the kitties that need our help.

I hope those kitties know what a special and beautiful guardian they have on their shoulders, wrapping her wings around them for comfort and support. They are very, very lucky indeed. I see her wings growing bigger and bigger as time goes by. Her presence is still here in the house and I see her out of the corner of my eye, running and playing with Finney and Lacey. Letting me know she's fine and she's keeping her eye on them, (which is no easy task, MOL). Let's face it...life changes on a whim and the ultimate struggle is to learn to adjust to a new reality in the course of that one day. It's harsh but it's the way things are.

I hate the word death, even though I know death isn't pretty and can peaceful sometimes and other times gruesome. I wish we said something like "they've moved away to live in another dimension". Or "they've been picked in a raffle to live on a beautiful cloud in a luxurious place full of love and happiness". That sounds so much better. Don't you think? So that's what I'm going to say today.

3 years ago today, Alex was picked to live in a gorgeous place full of love, peace and happiness. Have a wonderful day at the rainbow bridge my beautiful angel girl. Party your little heart out, fly from cloud to cloud and jump and run after other kitties. Love each other there and know that someday I will be able to hold you again in my arms the way I used to and I will kiss you a thousand times over to make up for lost time. Until that day, I will miss you every second.

Love you with every fiber of my being
Mommy Lisa

 kissyou heartbeatgif

Offline Lola

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Re: 3 years today
« Reply #1 on: July 10, 2011, 10:25:11 AM »
I soooooo wish I was better with words...

Thanks so much for sharing your story.  Your joy.  Your sadness.  Hope this hug helps you just a litttttttle bit today  grouphug
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finnlacey

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Re: 3 years today
« Reply #2 on: July 10, 2011, 10:50:40 AM »
It does Lola, thank you. I'm not one to ever turn down a hug especially on a day like today. I'll take all the support and love offered!  thankyou1

Offline Pookie

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Re: 3 years today
« Reply #3 on: July 10, 2011, 03:08:08 PM »
My heart aches for you.

There is a fur-angel who is so incredibly proud of you and everything you done to help other kitties and their pawrents, and personally, I will always be grateful to both of you.  Alex isn't the only one who's a special angel.

(((((BIG HUG)))))   grouphug grouphug grouphug grouphug
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finnlacey

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Re: 3 years today
« Reply #4 on: July 10, 2011, 03:26:03 PM »
Oh Pookie and your mommy, such wonderful friends you are. We love you dearly! Thank you so much for always working so hard to help other kitties and their parents. Thank you to all of you for doing that. It's a mission I could never do alone. And I know we don't have to.

XXOO

Offline Shadow

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Re: 3 years today
« Reply #5 on: July 10, 2011, 04:33:46 PM »
Love you Alex and family, our purrs and butterfly kisses we are sending out to you.  Enjoy your day in the garden, and reflect on those special times you had with your sweet Angel. grouphug
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finnlacey

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Re: 3 years today
« Reply #6 on: July 10, 2011, 07:22:58 PM »
Thank you Shadow and family. We love you so much and mom had a nice day in the sunshine. She went and bought a new perennial that is so neat!!! Thank you for all of your love and support and most of all your friendship.

Offline CarnivorousCritter

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Re: 3 years today
« Reply #7 on: July 11, 2011, 12:54:54 AM »
As this hits so very close to home, Mommy Lisa, all I can say is  heartbeatgif grouphug grouphug heartbeatgif   and  angel5 angel5 , as well as thank you.

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